It's you.

I was so bored today that I decided to browse through friends' Instagram photos and realised how far left behind I am compared to them. Most of them already have stable jobs, are either engaged or already married, already have kids or are pregnant with their first child. 

What do I have? What have I achieved so far? 

I'm turning 26 this year. 

No job, no husband, no kids.

and I still live like I'm 21. 

I can't help but feel envious of them when I look at their wedding/baby photos and how happy they look. 

I have to admit, it does get lonely sometimes. I'm tired of doing everything alone. I want someone cuddle and talk to at night, to wake up to in the morning, to love, to spoil, to argue with, get annoyed with, to cook for, to look after, to cry to, and basically to spend the rest of my life with. 

I really hope our plan to get married next June comes true. I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and I pray that Allah will make it easy for us. My parents seem to like him a lot, especially my dad which is quite amazing. My dad is the serious type, doesn't talk that much, and has never bothered to get to know my previous boyfriends and it's quite hard to get his approval. However, he seems to like A right from the start. Not many people can get my dad to talk, but A can. I remember being very impressed when I saw Ayah and A walking side by side at the airport (he came to send me off) and they were just talking to each other, and that is only the second time that he met my dad! The third time, more formally, was recently when he came to my house. I was back in Malaysia for a week so he came down to JB to see me and my parents invited him to have lunch at our house. It was the first time I see Ayah so friendly with my boyfriend... hehehe. Ayah even asked if A is ok with him and our family after he left...shouldn't it be the other way around? Haha. Alhamdulillah :) 

My big sister seems to approve of him too (this is good because she never approved any of my exes). There was this one day, out of the blue, she asked me, "Iqa! So are you and A officially together now?"...I was quite surprised by her question so I said..."Uh...I think so?". Then she was like, "Yeay! I'm so happy for you, give me a hug!". :P 

My mum asks about A all the time that I'm starting to think she likes him more than me. I won't be surprised that if we get married, he's going to be my mother's favorite. And my adik likes him too!

And honestly, I really think he is a good man. Yes we do argue sometimes but that is normal. What I like most about him is the fact that we can talk and discuss about our feelings and find solutions to our disagreements together. I'm usually the kind of person who would keep everything inside and expect the other person to know if I'm angry or sad...but ever since I knew A, I've learned to talk about my feelings and so far it's been good. We usually solve our differences right away... He really listens, and he's not someone who would get mad easily (well, unless he is hungry- but he would apologize afterwards). And that's another thing that I like about him! That he apologizes when he does something wrong or if he unintentionally (or intentionally) hurt my feelings. This, I find very 'manly' of him. I also find it cute that he would send me motivational photos when I'm feeling down or cute cat photos to make me smile. 

Okay. I miss him. I miss him a lot. I don't know how this post got to this- wasn't I jealous of something just now? Ah well.

I hope we get to squeeze in a facetime session tomorrow...before he leaves for UK. 

Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir. Rabbi tammim bil khoir. 

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusannya untuk ke UK dan lindungi dia. 

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan jodoh kami.

Amin.