Unpacking Life -

One more sleep and tomorrow night I will be on my way back to Sydney... and I'm actually quite looking forward to go back. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and spending time with them the past week has been great, and I love A too (a lot, honestly). I had an awesome weekend with him and I wish we could see each other more often. But it's alright, I guess. I mean, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? The less we get to see each other, the more we appreciate our moments together when we do. Besides, if all goes well, we'll be together eventually, InshaaAllah. I only have one semester left before I finish my MEd (wow how time flies...). I'm still not sure what's next for me, whether I should work or continue with PhD but I do know that I want to get married and settle down, and hopefully it's with him, Amin.

Two more sleeps before I go back to Sydney and tonight, something is bothering my mind. I hate it when I think to much about the "what ifs".  Doubts- please go away :(

Accepting and Avoiding. There is a huge difference you know. Sometimes I just need someone to listen to my life stories, not because I haven't moved on, but because those stories made me who I am today. To really understand me, you need to understand a little bit of my past. I'm not asking you or anyone to side with me or to feel sorry or anything like that...I just need you to listen.  It's not that hard... you don't really have to do anything. I mean, if I can't tell you, then who do I tell? Who can I depend on to just be there? Whose shoulders should I cry on if something upsets me? There is a certain degree of positiveness that I can have in me...I'm only human. I get sad, upset, paranoid, annoyed... I am not perfect.  Keep avoiding me and I might just stop opening up to you. 

You know, I should not be allowed to wander in shopping malls alone! This is what happens! Lol. Milk frother machine... I can't wait to try it out tonight! 

Each and everyday I keep telling myself- I am going to get it done. Five days later it's still not going anywhere. I will be in very big trouble if I don't start now...I have a general idea on what to write and how I will write it, but I just can't seem to make myself start... I guess I'm doing that performance-avoidance thing- I don't know. But I do know that I NEED TO START WRITING! Anyway. I was having this conversation with my bestfriend Jo yesterday, about how much do we really know a person? Think about the closest person you have in your life, how much do you think you know them? How much do you think they know you? How much do you think you know your own family? Do you ever wonder what secrets they keep from you?  Jo and I have been bestfriends for 8 years now- we started as breakfast/study partners back in college then we became housemates for 2 1/2 years, and now we're roommates. She knows me very well, she has been with me through a lot