Unpacking Life -

I glance at the clock,  "One more hour...". My heart is beating faster than usual. I feel nervous. Anxious. But the good kind. I can hear noises outside my room:  people chatting and laughing, furnitures moving, and sometimes my mother's voice asking the person in charge if  everything is in order. I am in my room, sitting at the edge of my bed.  I take a look around.  The room is probably  the nicest it has ever been.  There is a bouquet of flowers on the side  table next to the bed. My best friend is talking about something, but I am not sure what.  I am too distracted. My sister comes into the room, "Are you okay?" "Yes" I smile. "I have to help Mak outside for a bit, I'll be back to check up on you soon okay" A few more people come into the room after that, "Are you nervous?" "Congratulations" "You look beautiful!" Then, my father comes in and I know what it means. He lo...

I was so bored today that I decided to browse through friends' Instagram photos and realised how far left behind I am compared to them. Most of them already have stable jobs, are either engaged or already married, already have kids or are pregnant with their first child.  What do I have? What have I achieved so far?  I'm turning 26 this year.  No job, no husband, no kids. and I still live like I'm 21.  I can't help but feel envious of them when I look at their wedding/baby photos and how happy they look.  I have to admit, it does get lonely sometimes. I'm tired of doing everything alone. I want someone cuddle and talk to at night, to wake up to in the morning, to love, to spoil, to argue with, get annoyed with, to cook for, to look after, to cry to, and basically to spend the rest of my life with.  I really hope our plan to get married next June comes true. I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and ...

A is leaving for the UK this Sunday, InshaAllah... not really sure how I feel about this. I mean, we have always been in a long distance relationship since we got together so this should not be that much different, right? Right? Uh... I don't know...I mean, I am excited that he got this opportunity to gain some work experience overseas and I am genuinely happy for him. It's just that, the thought of us being at the opposite sides of the world is a bit ...worrying? What is the time difference between Woking and Sydney anyway? I hope things won't change that much between us.  For me, it's easier to be the one leaving rather than the one being left. It was not hard for me when I had to leave to continue my Master here in Sydney. I was quite excited actually. A and I had just started to get to know each other but it did not bother me that much that we were going to be apart for a year. Maybe because I was the one going to a new place, exploring and discover...

I sort of asked him if he has found the one he wants to spend his life with. At first he didn't want to answer. But I made him answer anyway. Then he said yes... and continued telling me about the girl that he wants to maybe marry one day. I smiled. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan jodohku. Amin.