Unpacking Life -

I am tired But I can't sleep My head is full of worries Of assignments and deadlines Will I be able to get it all done? But what's occupying my mind the most is You Despite the tonnes of work that I have to do, I still wish I could talk to you Only you can make me feel better Make me calm But I can't So I guess I better just try to Sleep

A special birthday cake for a very special person. Hope you like it. Ordered this from deliciouslychocolate  and very happy with their service! :) It's very easy to order online, delivers on time, lets you know if it is successful/not, reasonable price and according to the person I sent it to, their cakes are awesome (this is my second order). For now, they only deliver within the Klang Valley but you can always pick it up at the shop.  Before this, I've tried another cake delivery service but I was not very happy with their service. Although they deliver almost all throughout Malaysia, the quality of the cakes depend on the nearest cake shop available to the address you are delivering to. So, sometimes what you ordered is not the same as what it is delivered and the price that you are paying can sometimes be more than the price of the actual cake. Anyway, I'm very happy with this one- I think I'll be ordering more cakes from them in the futur...

Dear you, I haven't heard from you since you told me you've arrived home this morning. I hope you are okay, I know you must be tired and probably a bit jet-lagged. You're probably feeling a little bit uncomfortable with the weather too, but it'll be okay soon. Your body just needs to adjust to the Malaysian weather again. When you told me how hot it is in Malaysia, it instantly reminded me of my first time coming home back in 2008 after spending a year in NZ. I thought my friends were over reacting when they talked about how hot the weather is in Malaysia, but then I found out that they were telling the truth. I was so uncomfortable the first few days that I wanted to stay in my room with the aircond on all the time. It took me a few days to adjust. Anyway, I'm writing this because I want to talk to you so bad right now, but I don't want to bother you. So I decided to write this. I'm not sure if you will ever get to read this since I don't even k...

He once told me that I "saved him". I wonder now that we are 7 months into this relationship, if he still feels that way? I wonder if the things he used to find cute about me, are still cute? I wonder if I'm still the one he thinks about when he wakes up and before he goes to bed? I wonder if he still wants me, as much as I want him? You're still the one I think about all of the time. You're still the one occupying my dreams at night. You're still the one I miss. You're still the one I love. You're still the first person I want to tell things to. You're still the one I want to be with one day. And I hope I'm still all that to you too.

"Truth is, I want you more than anything else in this world"

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother caring so much about someone who probably doesn't even care that much about me. Why do I allow myself to go through this again and again? When will I learn? Maybe I should stop caring just a little bit. you know... to protect my own heart. I'm not asking much from you, except for just maybe show a little bit of appreciation. It's not that hard, and it won't cost you anything. Maybe next Tuesday is a mistake. But I don't think I can cancel it now. "Why make someone a priority, when you're only an option"

I was just done having my buka puasa alone in my room yesterday (roommate had a class and I was too lazy to go to the musolla) when my mother suddenly facetimed me (is that even a word? Lol). It is very unusual of her to do that especially since we just talked earlier that day. Anyway, this came up on the screen when I answered the phone:   I know that's very blurry but that's all I managed to capture when suddenly my mother held this thing up on the screen (and that black box at the top right of the screen is actually me, had to color it in because my hair wasn't properly covered, hehe).  I was confused at first, but then she flipped the card and I saw "Surrey" and immediately I knew who it was from. Mak was so excited she read the postcard out loud ( sabar je lah, nasib baik takde yang jiwang hihi ) and I found that very amusing...both of them (Ayah was there too) were more excited than me! And then Mak asked, why did A sent this to JB instead of ...

I always believe in: "If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all" Although I admit, sometimes, I slip too. Most of the time it's because I cannot control my emotions and in the end hurt the people I care about the most. But I do try my hardest, to think about my words, before saying them. For words can cause severe damage, it has the potential to break hearts, ruin marriages and hurt people. Once you say something, you can never take it back, whether you meant it or not. So people, please, if the words you are about to say can hurt other people, then don't say it. Think about how it may affect other people (even if they mean nothing to you). What you say may cause problems to other people's relationships. You can joke all you want, but make it private, so that those who are indirectly involved do not take it the wrong way. Long distance relationships are hard enough, I do not need you ruin things with your thoughtless...

It has been quite a rough week for me. I was under a lot of stress that my anxiety attacks came back. I haven't had those for a while now, but it's here again. I know some people would say " Ala itu pun nak stress, relax la ", "toughen up!" etc. but believe me I do not ask to have these anxiety attacks. I hate them actually. I've tried everything to make it go away and although it is not as severe as it used to be, I still get them every now and then. Especially if I am under a lot of pressure/stress and could not cope well with the situation. My Mak used to get angry (wait, she still does) when I get these attacks... She thinks I do it on purpose, but it's not like that at all. Who likes to be/feel weak/pressured/stressed? What happens when I get these attacks is, I gag, like I'm about to vomit but nothing comes out. It's something that is out of my control, it just happens. It can happen anywhere at anytime. Close friends know ab...

To say I miss you is an understatement. I wish we don't have to be apart - this long distance thing is not fun for me anymore. Can we be together now, always, please?

It's past midnight, and I'm lying on my bed, underneath my blanket, blogging from my phone. I was actually asleep just now, but a text from A woke me up and now I can't get back to sleep. I'm relieved that he's happy and settling in just fine. He seems to be adjusting well, Alhamdulillah.  I'm still trying to get used to the time difference between us... waking up when he's asleep and sleeping when he's awake is not fun. But it's alright, it's only for a month, InshaAllah things will be ok. Besides, Uni is starting again next week and hopefully that will take my mind off him.  Oh which reminds me, UNI is starting next week! I know I haven't been doing anything productive since the break started, but I really don't want this holiday to end! It's just so nice not having to worry about assignments and due dates! I can do what I want, when I want and if I want... But oh well... I can't have everything I guess. ...

One more sleep before he leaves for the UK. His flight's tomorrow morning. Safe journey awak, I pray that awak selamat pergi dan balik. Remember to have fun over there :) 

A is leaving for the UK this Sunday, InshaAllah... not really sure how I feel about this. I mean, we have always been in a long distance relationship since we got together so this should not be that much different, right? Right? Uh... I don't know...I mean, I am excited that he got this opportunity to gain some work experience overseas and I am genuinely happy for him. It's just that, the thought of us being at the opposite sides of the world is a bit ...worrying? What is the time difference between Woking and Sydney anyway? I hope things won't change that much between us.  For me, it's easier to be the one leaving rather than the one being left. It was not hard for me when I had to leave to continue my Master here in Sydney. I was quite excited actually. A and I had just started to get to know each other but it did not bother me that much that we were going to be apart for a year. Maybe because I was the one going to a new place, exploring and discover...

Good morning! It's Saturday and I've decided to spend it in the library... Mostly because they have internet connection here haha. and also I really need to start researching for my assignments... (Not fun). I'm into my third week here in Macquarie. So far I think I'm okay...I'm quite enjoying all my classes...Starting to make new friends, starting to get used to life here, and slowly (very slowly) falling in love with this place I guess. The new place is starting to really feel like home. I can't wait to get a washing machine and for our TV to arrive. So far only the kitchen and our rooms are quite complete... the living room is still pretty much empty but that's alright. I love the house anyways. Oh the surprise that I arranged for him went as planned. It's nothing big... I ordered customised lego cupcakes to be delivered to him... (because I know how much he loves lego and I just thought I'd do something special for him...no special occas...