"I won't...let you...close enough to hurt me..."



There are so many times that my hand just wants to reach the phone and text you... It's already 1 pm in the afternoon and I find myself waiting for you, for your text. I want to text you, but then I don't want to get frustrated if you don't reply to it. It's not like there is anything between us, or if there will ever be anything between us. Why do I find myself thinking of you? Why do I find myself missing you? 

At 26, I don't think I want to go through all the drama of being in a relationship...I have had enough of that since I was 18, and I'm still single. What I want now is, a simple guy, who can love me for who I am... it's okay if we are not crazy in love at the start, because I believe that love will come later if you learn to accept the person for who the person is. 

Anyway, what I am trying to say is, I think you are a great person, and I enjoy our endless texting for the past month, and I wonder, if you think something great can happen between us too? I wonder if you think of me sometimes...(or always) like I do? The probability of me leaving (God willing) in less than 3 weeks just make me wonder what's going to happen between us after this. 

I don't want to tell you how I really feel inside my heart, because I don't want to get my hopes high...and I really don't want to get hurt. At least now, we're just friends... and the friendship is really great (well at least to me it is) and no one can get hurt. 

Awak, I don't know why you keep texting me... every morning and every night. I don't know why you share a lot of things with me. I don't know why you made the effort to lend me two of your books...and gave me that sotong kering too...I don't know why...but I hope it's something more than just friendship. If not, well, I hope you will tell me sooner. So it'll be easier for me to move on.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusanku untuk sambung belajar.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan jodohku...

Amin.

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