Unpacking Life -

Dear Baby, I know I don't talk about you as much as I did when I was pregnant with your brother. Please know it is not because I don't love you. To be honest, I am scared of this pregnancy. I figured if I don't think/talk about it nothing bad will happen. I do think about you all the time, how can I not? You are in me. I am still in the process of healing from what happened before. I don't want it to happen again.  I cannot wait to meet you sayang. Love, Mak

I just realised that I'm reaching 30 soon. I turn 29 in September- and then... I have no idea what's in store for me in the future, but I pray and hope that it will be full of good things InshaaAllah. Amin.  Let's look back at the past 10 years: 2006: I was halfway through my A-levels in Kolej MARA Seremban I think. KMS is where I met my dearest friends, Sh, J and Z. We're still very close now. 2007: Done with A-levels in June. The second part of the year was spent mostly doing nothing while waiting to fly to NZ in Feb 2008. The girls and I did a makan-makan cari jalan covering each other's states. 2008: February - I can't remember the exact date of my departure to NZ, but it was around mid-Feb. One of the biggest things that happened in my life. For the first time, I was moving to another country for 3 1/2 years to complete my Bachelor's degree. Alhamdulillah, very grateful for the opportunity and experience. NZ is where I learned a lot abo...

Teenagers acting like teenagers, I can understand and tolerate. 29 year old acting like teenagers, please stop

Sometimes, too many rules and/or being too rigid make people not want to contribute. You can't control everything to go exactly the way you want it. If it is harmless, let it be. Let people join & educate them. People do want to contribute, but sometimes they don't know how or are not allowed to. This is for a good cause- if you're doing it because you want to be known for your good deeds, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. 

I don't know how it was for our mothers when they became moms, but being a mother in a world surrounded by fast internet, smart phones, social media etc is super tough. I am sure it was tough for our mothers too, but the issues they had to face with are definitely different that's for sure. So, here are 6 top things/issues I feel pressured by or struggled with ever since I became a mother (I'll add more later in a different post): 1) Breastfeeding vs. Formula milk Although I am blessed to be able to exclusively breastfeed my baby, the journey wasn't always smooth. Since my little Yusuf had to stay for a bit at the hospital before being able to come home, I had to make sure that I maintain my supply. Since I had no baby with me for the first 30 days, I had to rely solely on my pump. The first time I pumped, it took me more than 2 hours to get 0.5 oz. But I didn't give up because of the support of my husband. If it wasn't because of him, I think I ...

1. Please refrain yourself from commenting on matters that you have never experienced before/don't know much about. 2. You can share your ideas on it, but to absolutely talk about it as if you know what/how it feels like, please just don't. Until you've gone through it yourself. 3. For example, if you are not a teacher or have never taught before, then please stop yourself from commenting on how easy it is to be a teacher. 4. This applies to topics on pregnancy, giving birth, vaccination, parenting, breastfeeding, etc. 5. I'm sick of people commenting on things they know very little about. 6. Atleast, try to read up on the matter first, OK? From valid and realible sources and NOT solely on Dr. Google.

People always give me that look (of disapproval) when I tell them I send Yusuf to a daycare centre while I work 8-6 pm every weekday since he was 2 months old. I have to admit, it does make me feel guilty sometimes as if I am not a good mother. If I had the choice, ofcourse I would choose to take care of him myself. But I don't get to make that choice. Atleast I know that we have chosen the best daycare centre that we could find, and so far they have taken good care of Yusuf . The daycare centre updates me about Yusuf all the time, and it was them who told me Yusuf was coughing badly and that I should take him to the hospital a.s.a.p. So I am grateful for them. I know it seems like he gets sick quite often. But I think that is just part of growing up and also because he already has a health condition when he was born. InshaaAllah as he grows older, he'll be stronger.   Yusuf, when you grow up, please know that we love you a lot.