On being a Mak

I don't know how it was for our mothers when they became moms, but being a mother in a world surrounded by fast internet, smart phones, social media etc is super tough. I am sure it was tough for our mothers too, but the issues they had to face with are definitely different that's for sure.

So, here are 6 top things/issues I feel pressured by or struggled with ever since I became a mother (I'll add more later in a different post):

1) Breastfeeding vs. Formula milk

Although I am blessed to be able to exclusively breastfeed my baby, the journey wasn't always smooth. Since my little Yusuf had to stay for a bit at the hospital before being able to come home, I had to make sure that I maintain my supply. Since I had no baby with me for the first 30 days, I had to rely solely on my pump. The first time I pumped, it took me more than 2 hours to get 0.5 oz. But I didn't give up because of the support of my husband. If it wasn't because of him, I think I would have given up since day 1. He sometimes even stayed up with me when I did my middle of the night pumping. He's also the one who washes the bottles and pump parts everyday after work. Never once has he mentioned about giving our baby formula milk despite seeing me struggle sometimes (a lot of times).

Yusuf is the other major reason I decided to keep breastfeeding and pumping. At 26 days young, with a tube in his mouth, he was still so eager to latch on. And seeing him improving everyday at the intensive care unit motivated me to keep going on. It's been 9 months and I'm so grateful that I am still able to breastfeed him.

However, I am very aware that breastfeeding is NOT easy. Without proper knowledge and support, it can fail. I started with very minimum knowledge, but because of the support from my husband and some family members, I managed to do it. There were times that I wanted to give up, like when I just can't seem to pump enough (due to stress or other reasons), or the time when my husband accidentally switched off the freezer and ruined almost 150+ packs of 4oz expressed breastmilk for my baby. But I thank Allah that I did not give up.

I also have no problems with mothers who choose formula over breastmilk. I believe they have their reasons and that we should be supportive and understanding towards each other.
 

2) To vaccinate or not to vaccinate

I know this is a sensitive issue, but I believe that vaccinations are very important. The world we live in now is different from how it used to be. Different from breastfeeding/formula, I am somewhat uncomfortable with parents that choose to not vaccinate their child.

I have read a lot on this, from both sides (the arguments are endless!), and the conclusion that I've made is that vaccinations are important. It has saved many lives and eliminate a lot of diseases and prevention is definitely better than cure. Having said that, I also believe in makanan sunnah- kurma, habbatusauda, etc. I think they should complement each other.

I know many parents would disagree, but InshaaAllah, I believe that the decision that I've made for my baby is the best. I am trying my best to protect him to the best of my ability. I leave the rest to Allah swt.

3) Home-made solids vs. Ready-made baby food

One of the most exciting things about being a new parent is feeding our baby his/her first solid food. I was nervous, clueless, and excited all at the same time. I have to admit, it was very stressful to think of what to feed Yusuf because of all the pressure from social media. At first, I insisted that Yusuf will only have home-made food- and I wanted it all to be organic. But after a while, I realised that I am just stressing myself over something that is not worth stressing over. 

Since then, I've stopped obsessing over food for Yusuf. I make him rice porridge everyday (because he loves it) and add in veges & meat. Simple & healthy. Maybe some won't agree with this but our logic (my husband and I) is that we feed Yusuf what normal people eat everyday so he will not be a picky eater later. We are not really strict in making sure that everything is organic, but we do make sure everything is fresh and clean. And since we don't eat only fruits as big meals, we decided that fruits are for snacks. Oh, and we don't mind giving him Heinz Rusks every now and then.
 

4) Daycare centre or Babysitter/Family member

Since Yusuf was 2 months old, we've been sending him to a daycare centre. A lot of people would give me the look of disapproval when they hear this...especially when I tell them there are about 30 kids at the centre. My reasons for sending him to that specific daycare centres are:

1. Near my workplace (so it is easy to pick him up during emergencies)
2. The carers are quite professional and they keep me updated
3. So far they've handled EBM and solid food really well (Yusuf has been attending that day care for 6 months + now.
4. Yusuf seems happy and I can see it. He has never cried whenever I send him off and so far he is always cheerful when I pick him up. So that should be a good sign?
5. I get to sleep next to my baby everynight Alhamdulillah. Another option was for my mom to take care of Yusuf but my parents are in JB. And I could not bear the thought of being away from Yusuf.
6. The daycare centre is certified by JKM. Actually this should be No. 1 haha oh well.

And yes, Yusuf does get sick every now and then, but so far, nothing serious, Alhamdulillah. InshaaAllah, it will make his immune system stronger. Amin.

And I am very aware of the risks of sending him to daycare centres...but InshaaAllah it will be OK. 

5) Baby Carseat vs. No Baby Carseat

This is super duper important. I sometimes do not understand on parents who decided against No. 2 because of all the poison and harmful stuff we are 'injecting' into our baby, but then let their baby ride in a car WITHOUT a carseat AND sit in the front seat with them on their lap.

If you really care about your child's safety, please, please use a proper carseat properly.

6) Co-sleeping vs. Baby Cot

Ah. At first, I was very determined to make sure Yusuf sleeps in his cot so that it is easier to train him to sleep on his own later. But after a few months, I decided to let Yusuf sleep with us. Haha. Because it is just easier to breastfeed him in a lying down position...and I can sleep while he feeds ha ha. We both win lol.