Versions.

I feel like I can relate so much to this quote right now. I actually have been thinking about my own attitude, and how I react to certain people in my life. I've been wondering why it is so hard for me to be nice to certain people in my life, to be more forgiving and accepting, but instead, I just shut down and avoid them at all costs. It's not like I didn't try, believe me, I have tried everything to just be at least indifferent, but I just can't. It's like all those dark feelings start to creep in me when I try to be civil and not let these people affect me negatively.

So in the end, I choose to shut down, avoid, and just run away.

It's like a "fight or flight" kind of thing (maybe this isn't the correct term, but that is something like what I'm feeling when I'm surrounded by these people).

That's why I agree that not everyone will think I am a nice person. I really do believe that I am a nice and decent person, but it really depends on who I deal with. So yes, one person might think I am so nice but you might think I'm an asshole - and both are true. Because I act accordingly.

If I think you're not a nice person (to me and to other people in general), it is quite hard for me to fake my feelings and be nice to you. I just cannot, that's not who I am.

I don't care if you're an older person, and how people say we should respect older people. Oh hell no, respect is earned, not given. So yes, at this point, I actually don't care if you think I'm an evil person, and if you have been telling people that because you are probably right. That's exactly how I intend to treat you.

People also tell me that I should be nice because the person might be gone one day and it would be too late to apologise and make things right. But right now, personally, I feel that if I don't like that person now (because of some valid reasons), I don't think I will care that much or feel anything when the person is gone.

I think the older I get, the less I tolerate bullshit.

And everything that I feel, is also true for the people around me towards me. I think it is good that whenever I feel a person is reacting or treating me in a bad way, that I start to self-reflect and ask myself what the reasons would be. If I feel that it is something I need to change, I usually try my best to improve myself and change. And I am okay with confronting some people (that I care about) and apologise to them for my behavior that hurt/offended them. And if for example, they cannot accept it, and they feel that I don't bring anything positive into their lives, that's OK for me too.

You can't make everyone like you, that's just life.

So what is my point to this whole post?

I think my point is, I want to stop feeling guilty or feel affected if I don't treat everyone equally. I just can't. I'm not a saint. I treat people the way they make me feel (at that moment or as a person).

What you give to me is what you get back kind of thing.

My feelings might change - but as long as I feel you're an asshole to me (or to people), that's how I will react to you too.