Throwback - The day my girl was born

Hello! It has been ages since I last blogged - let's see if I can still write haha. I can't believe it is already almost the end of 2019, and the last time I blogged was before Afrina was born back in 2017! and she's almost two now. I feel so bad! I used to write about Yusuf a lot, but not one post about my dearest girl. Sorry sayang! But you do know you are on my IG stories like all the time kan? I love you both the same. During Abang's time blogging was the in thing, your time it is Instagram hehe. 

Anyways, a lot has happened since then - where do I start? Ok maybe I should start when Afrina was born - 1st February 2018. I still remember the night you were born, actually, I remember the whole day before you were born because you were being stubborn and playing games with me and didn't want to come out! It was already past my due date and I was getting annoyed and uncomfortable! So typical of you kan Adik? Until now, your character reminded me so much of the days when you were still in my womb. 

I was having contractions a couple days before you were born, mild ones - nothing severe. I could still enjoy my roti canai at my favourite roti canai place with Yusuf and AJ. I remember having to take a few breaths in between eating my roti because of the contractions. I remember telling AJ I want roti canai first before we go to the hospital - and that's what we did. 

We went to the hospital right after that, but I was only 1 cm dilated and nothing much else (besides feeling really uncomfortable and annoyed). So they asked me to go home and just wait. I think it was already the 30th January - and the baby was supposed to due on the 26th January 2019. I thought Afrina would come out earlier - because she's my second baby and people say second ones are faster and easier - well not for me! Maybe because I had my first one via c-section so it doesn't count for me.

So anyway, I called my parents and told them that it was a false alarm so maybe they don't have to come yet (my parents live in JB and I really don't want to trouble them). My mom said they want to come anyway and stay with us until I give birth. I said OK, at least someone can be with Yusuf while we were at the hospital later. 

Yusuf was being very clingy that last day as the only child. He wouldn't let me go. He kept wanting me to hold/cudlle/carry him. Of course by then I felt a bit annoyed and sad at the same time. The contraction pain was starting to feel unbearable and a clingy child is the last thing I want. My mom told me not to be annoyed at Yusuf and to just hug him. So there I was, cuddling my first born at the staircase of my house because he wouldn't let me go. It was already 10 pm and I was in pain and very tired. My mom told me to put Yusuf to bed and rest. That's what I did. When he fell asleep, I got up and that's when I felt water trickling down my pants. I told AJ that I think my water broke? The contraction pain were coming like every 5 minutes by then. I told my parents that we were going to the hospital - I kissed my boy and left.

When we reached the hospital, one of the nurses did VE and said I was already 4cm dilated. The doctor came, burst my waterbag and suddenly they were having a serious discussion. AJ was not with me because he was parking the car and then had to register me into labor. The doctor told me that Afrina had already pooped and she felt that we shouldn't wait for the baby to come out normally. She told me that I needed to go into the labor room ASAP or else risk my baby lemas. So they straight away prepped me for OT that I didn't have much time to think. I had no idea where AJ was. They were documents to sign, they changed me into OT gown and asked me to move beds while I was having intense contractions. I remember being angry and said "SEKEJAP SAKIT LAH!". The nurse said there was no time to waste because the baby needs to come out ASAP.

When they were wheeling me to the OT room, I saw AJ. He was so confused when I told him I was going to the OT for an emergency c-section. I said Afrina pooped, she might lemas. Because this time it was a government hospital, AJ couldn't be with me in the OT. He had to wait for me outside. He had my phone so he texted all my close friends to pray for me. I wonder how he was feeling out there alone? Must be helpless.

During the c-section, I suddenly felt tightness in my throat and a really bad headache. I told the anaest that I could not breathe and my head hurts, and if it was normal to feel that way? That's when they realised my blood pressure was suddenly low. The anaest straight away gave me some medicine and then I felt OK again. It was really scary, could have died that night.

Afrina came out at 12.10 am I think. She was sent straight to the ICU because she already swallowed some of her poop (typical Afrina, semua nak masuk mulut). I was wheeled out to the recovery bay. AJ? No idea where he was.

I was separated from my baby for about 48 hours before she was back into my arms. Maybe because I had experienced it with Yusuf, so I was not that worried. I believe that Afrina was in good hands, InshaAllah. Afrina was fine, Alhamdulillah. She was given antibiotics for 3 days I think.

I was at the hospital for 3 nights, and it was the first time I didn't see my Yusuf for so long. I remember missing him to much. My parents did take him to see me, and it was heartbreaking because I could not carry him like I used to.

He was asleep when he came to visit, and I wanted to wake him up so bad. He was mumbling "Mak Mak" in his sleep, so heartbreaking. When he opened his eyes and saw me, he started to cry. I was crying too because I missed my baby boy a whole lot. We cuddled for a while and then I told him to follow Atok Nenek and that I will come home soon.

I was healthy and strong enough to come home on the forth day, Alhamdulillah. I was so excited because, well, who likes being at the hospital kan? I want to be with my family again. I want Yusuf. 

This is the day I came home - the day Yusuf properly met his little sister, Afrina. When I was pregnant, a colleague shared me a tip on how to ensure siblings get along - he said, buy something nice for your first born, something he always wanted. Wrap it nicely, and keep it until the baby comes. When the baby comes, give the present to the first born and tell him it is from the baby, and that the baby loves him so much! So that is what we did. We bought Yusuf a present, and the day we came home with Afrina, we gave him the present. We told him that Afrina gave this because she loves him so much! And I don't know if it is just my imagination or what, Yusuf got along well with Afrina. He was always so protective of her.

You know the hardest thing about having a second child? It is the guilt and the rindu that you feel towards your first child. Yusuf and I were inseparable for almost 3 years before Afrina came along. My life revolved around him so much that sometimes even AJ becomes number 3 in my priority (I know it's wrong but the things Yusuf went through made me become very over protective of him). When I was at the hospital, all I could think about was Yusuf and if he was OK. I did not want him to feel that I have abandoned him or left him. Alhamdulillah, as time goes, things got easier. I realised that my heart was actually big enough for all three of them - AJ, Yusuf and Afrina. I love all three of them so much and I pray that Allah will protect them always.

So, that's the story of when Afrina was born and made me a Mak of two. Sorry my writing is a bit rusty but hope you enjoyed the story!