Time to reflect



Hi

I've been wanting to post something here for a while now but I've just been too busy...school stuff. and when I do have the time I would usually end up doing something else. Sorry!

Anyway

Nothing much (well, nothing interesting) has been happening since the last time I wrote in this blog. I'm going to be done with my first semester at Uni as a postgraduate in about three weeks! How time flies! I'm hoping that everything will go smoothly and that I will pass all my papers- with a Credit at least. Haha. and then one more semester to go before I graduate, InshaAllah. (Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir, Amin)

Postgraduate life is tough! I thought studying would be somewhat the same like in VUW. Boy was I wrong! I learned quite a lot about myself- I am more aware that I actually don't know a lot of stuff haha. My self-efficacy (haha finally I get to use this word) went down, I feel really incompetent. I'm also starting to question about the validity and the quality of my undergraduate degree... were the lecturers being too nice? 

But looking on the bright side, I think this journey has made me realise that I should not rush things. When I was doing my undergraduate degree, I was quite a good student (ok I am not trying to be perasan but that's how I felt about myself back then). I worked part-time at the library, usually 15 hours a week in between classes, I joined clubs, went out a lot, and still managed to get good grades. I made sure that my assignments were completed at least one day earlier (yes friends used to get annoyed at this). Life was good back then... and that was what I imagined life would be here too. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about choosing to do my Master. It's not even a choice that I have to think about. But I realised that I need to learn to take my time, I need to be more patient, it's not a race. I have to say, I think I am more calmer now (I have four assignments due this week and I'm still alright! Alhamdulillah). I don't rush my assignments- I take my time to understand and think about it deeply before starting my writing process. This is not how I was like back then...When I had assignments to do, I usually go straight to finding journal articles and started writing and pulling out points as I go (and still get a good grade on it, I have no idea how!). This, I realised, does not work for Master. I need to be critical, need to question things, do this and that... but I'm learning now...it hasn't been a smooth process but I think I'm okay. I will get there one day- InshaaAllah. Trying to keep being positive! 


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