Unpacking Life -

"Love the body you have, work for the body you want" That quote is what I am trying to be right now. It's hard, but I'm trying. Those who know me for a long time would know that I've been struggling with body issues since I was about 12. I have always been on the chubby side. Compared to my two sisters, I think I am the least attractive. They are both tall and slim, good skin, with the best facial features. Growing up, I could never share clothes with any of my sisters because of my size. I was quite heavy during my early teenage years, but when I was 15 I somehow managed to shed 15kgs off and it was probably the best time of my life. Boys actually started to notice me (now I know how superficial they were). I felt good about my body. But then I gained all the weight again when I was 17. I think I was at my heaviest when I was 19 and weighed 64 kgs. For someone who is only 155 cm tall, that was already considered overweight. Then, I co...

It has been quite a rough week for me. I was under a lot of stress that my anxiety attacks came back. I haven't had those for a while now, but it's here again. I know some people would say " Ala itu pun nak stress, relax la ", "toughen up!" etc. but believe me I do not ask to have these anxiety attacks. I hate them actually. I've tried everything to make it go away and although it is not as severe as it used to be, I still get them every now and then. Especially if I am under a lot of pressure/stress and could not cope well with the situation. My Mak used to get angry (wait, she still does) when I get these attacks... She thinks I do it on purpose, but it's not like that at all. Who likes to be/feel weak/pressured/stressed? What happens when I get these attacks is, I gag, like I'm about to vomit but nothing comes out. It's something that is out of my control, it just happens. It can happen anywhere at anytime. Close friends know ab...