Unpacking Life -

Me, sitting at my desk, struggling to finish my reading.  I turn to my roommate: "No matter how hard this is and how much I am struggling right now, this is still better than teaching. This is 'pain' that I'm willing to go through" then my roommate says: "Yes because as a student, if you don't know what you're doing, it's part of the process, but as a teacher, if you don't know what you're doing..." Me: "...then you feel like a failure! yeah..." *Don't get me wrong, I love teaching and I love my students. It's just that I sometimes feel that I am not competent enough or experienced enough to teach. Also, the teaching environment that I was in was too much for me to handle, I felt lost most of the time. My self-efficacy as a teacher just went down. I needed to get out of that environment, and I did.

This is not funny anymore. So far all the assignments that I got back only scored Credit. I'm starting to think I'm not smart enough for this whole Masters thing. Come on brain, please work. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusanku untuk belajar. Amin I know I should be grateful that at least it's not just a pass. But I think I can do better..... :( *feeling very very sad and down.

The past week has been a very interesting one. Of all the 26 years that I have been living in this world, I have never experienced so many things in just one week. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly and yesterday I finally received a confirmation on my student visa! I hope things will continue to go smoothly, InsyaAllah. It all changed on the 5th February when I received that call from Jo...We had to do everything quickly because we were running out of time... I am very grateful to have her, because if not, I think I would have already given up on this. Anyway, my focus today is not really about Australia...or Masters...it's about him. I think from now on I have to give him a name...okay lets call him A. (ha ha not very creative I know). I think I've mentioned him in  all 4 of my previous posts... So. We finally met the other day. I was in KL for my medical checkup and I went to hang around at Ayah's office after everything was settled. His offi...