Unpacking Life -

Why do I feel so miserable today? Why why why why why why why. That chai tea did not work its magic. The pomegranate aloe vera drink was meh Sitting at the park looking at the view was a bit disappointing. The birds were kind of entertaining though....especially when they came back the second third and forth time for my rice crackers. Somehow I feel empty inside. I don't know why.  I don't have a reason for it. Nothing is really wrong. But yeah. I feel empty... I know I'm supposed to feel positive and happy and be grateful for all His blessings. I know that. But I'm only human so give me a break if I can't smile today. If I don't feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. If I feel like I want to sleep and not wake up. If I feel like crying. Sabarlah hati . I don't know what's wrong with you today... but please calm down. Maybe I should take a relaxing bath? But first I need to pray. Laters. Note to self: Not everything you do...

I've decided to write something just for me to get my mind off academic things. I'm still feeling a bit frustrated but ah well. I can't let this pull me down. Takpelah . Tenang and try again I guess...Try harder...no...smarter. Hopefully I'll make it through until the end of my MEd. I just can't let my family down...I can't let YOU down... Maybe I need to critically reflect on what I have been doing and change the things that are not working. Maybe I'm still adjusting.... Hmm. It's a good thing that Jo, Pnut and I are going on that Heli ride tomorrow. Maybe that'll cheer me up a bit. The room's been a bit too quiet since yesterday because Jo is away canyoning in Bluemountains (I think that's what the place is called). She will be back with her sister tonight and Pnut will be staying with us until Wednesday. Quite looking forward to that :) Things with me and him are going pretty well. I'm happy.... I am genuinely happy. I can...

This is not funny anymore. So far all the assignments that I got back only scored Credit. I'm starting to think I'm not smart enough for this whole Masters thing. Come on brain, please work. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusanku untuk belajar. Amin I know I should be grateful that at least it's not just a pass. But I think I can do better..... :( *feeling very very sad and down.